It has always amused me to see huge corporations issue public statements or press releases in an attempt to say one thing, when, clearly, they mean something else. I used to work for Time Warner and they were experts at giving certain key employees a glowing send-off, when, in truth, they had come to the conclusion that the employee was not as key as he may have thought. The corporation will use such phrases as, “So and So has decided to pursue other opportunities.” What they meant was: “So and So has decided that since we’ve fired him, he’ll seek employment elsewhere.”

I always thought it was a cute idea to take their public statement and to send a company-wide email interpreting that statement. I think that idea was not met with as much enthusiasm as I had hoped for. But, since I was not a key employee to begin with, I didn’t get any significant send-off.
I got to thinking about those cleverly-worded press releases this morning, when I read the joint statement issued by Indianapolis Colt owner, Jim Irsay, and the team’s star quarterback, Peyton Manning. It seems the two of them had a somewhat public squabble, so to prove that peace and harmony exists, they issued a statement.

If you read that statement with the naiveté of an Indiana schoolgirl, you may be thinking all is right in their little world. Actually, nothing could be further from the truth.
As a public service, I’m going to use their statement as a lesson to help you discover the difference between “What They Say and What They Mean.”

Here goes. The statement begins: “Since 1998, we have enjoyed a great relationship, based upon mutual respect and trust.” That’s what they say. What they mean is: “We have endured each other for almost 15 years now.”
The statement continues: We have always been able to talk and address matters we’ve faced over the years…” In other words, “Up until now, we’ve had enough common sense and self control to not let the public know just how much we despise one another.”

They conclude that sentence with a line that is designed to test the waters. They say, “…not just as owner and player, but also as friends.” Now, let me ask you this? Do you have any friends who are also your “owner”? Obviously, Irsay came up with that phrase and Manning either fell for it or is just too disgusted to care. The basic gist of the sentence is, “I’m the owner. He’s a player. We were never friends.”

The next line of the statement is kinda cute. If you’re one who believes these statements, you’re probably feeling really good. You’re probably thinking that it looks as if Peyton Manning will continue to play for the Colts. Here’s what they say: We had a long talk today and we want to assure Colts fans everywhere that we are both committed to maintaining our close relationship…” Here’s what they mean: We’ve been screaming at each other all day. We can’t take it anymore. But in an effort not to hurt season ticket sales or to scare off advertisers, we’re committed to painting an entirely untrue picture of the situation. This much is true. We will have the same relationship we’ve always had, until the owner dumps the player, which should be happening any day now.”

They conclude the sentence and the statement with the kiss of death for Manning: “…and to working together through any challenges the future may bring.” What they mean is, “Here’s how we will work together. I will call Manning into my office. He will come in. I will fire him. He will leave.” It’s as simple as that.
So, while some, who take such things at face value, may be feeling pretty good right now, Peyton Manning should start looking for a good Realtor.