I've kind of made a career of studying people. It's a career I haven't gotten paid for, but it's a career, nonetheless. And, I've made an important discovery. There are basically two types of people on earth. I'm not talking about liberals and conservatives,  or rich and poor, or even good and bad people. No, the thing that truly divides all humans into two distinct groups is more fundamental than those things.

You may have already observed this, but since no one has published a paper on it, I'm taking credit. Every human falls into one of two categories: Those who change the toilet paper roll and those who don't. It's really as simple as that.

In my home, I'm the only changer. The rest are non-changers.  Non-changers are, typically, much more deceptive than changers. For instance, the other day, I was sitting there and happened to notice that there was one square of toilet paper left on the roll. Do you think that happened by chance?  I don't.

A non-changer is smart enough to plan their usage out so that they always leave a small remnant of paper. Some non-changers are less repulsive than others. Some will actually get a new roll and put it somewhere near the toilet paper fixture. While I can't understand why they won't take that quick extra step and actually install the new roll, at least this type of non-changer has some degree of human decency.

Then there's the "Leave 'em hanging" non-changer. This person will leave just enough toilet paper to make the next user believe he is safe.  This non-changer will also never, ever retrieve a new roll and place it within an arm's reach of the place you need toilet paper to be within an arm's reach.

This is not good. Have you ever had to waddle out of the bathroom to the linen closet in order to retrieve a new roll? Or, even worse, have you ever had to waddle down two flights of stairs to the other bathroom and try to find a new roll? This is especially embarrassing when there is company visiting.

Through my years of study, I have become firmly convinced that no one ever crosses over. A changer never stops changing. I've thought about it. I've told myself to leave the roll sitting on the window sill and see how long before someone else changes it.  But, almost unconsciously, I find myself replacing the roll.

On the other hand, I've come home after being out of town for several days, to find a roll about 80% used, still sitting on the window sill. The non-changers apparently are content to retrieve their toilet paper in that fashion.

I've come to one conclusion.  The truth is self evident. A  non-changer will never change.