Well, it's that time of year when I do something that will seem to many of you to be virtually impossible to do. And yet, I do it annually.  It's my predictions for the coming year.  Now, please keep in mind, I do not have some sort of psychic powers. I am just so intuitive that I can sense things that will happen that you, as an amateur, might think could never, ever happen in a million lifetimes.

So, here, below, I present my predictions for 2012. 

1. Someone will go on television and not only will they offer, for sale, the greatest collection of knives in the history of cutlery, but, they will be so bold as to offer the first 100 Americans who call to order a second set free, if they pay a separate shipping and handling.
2. Some national politicians will do something that will make a lot of people mad and those people will go on TV and berate him or her for that thing he or she did.
3. It will be proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt by authorities and experts that the earth is not only warming, it’s getting colder, and it’s staying the same.
4. Several individuals will show up for American Idol auditions and will make absolute fools of themselves.
5. A clerk at an unnamed McDonald’s or Burger King, or Wendys will mess up my order and I will not notice it until I get home and that mess-up will not be in my favor.
6. Somebody who lives in a trailer will be interviewed on the local news and will say something stupid.
7. A motion picture will be so outstanding that its producers will make a TV commercial to promote it and put that commercial on the air, BEFORE the motion picture has even been rated.
8. The Washington Redskins will get the hopes up of certain fans who have sworn they will never get their hopes up again and then the Redskins will hit a losing streak and dash those hopes.
9. A major NASCAR driver will be interviewed on TV following his win and during that interview he will slip up and actually mention either Valvoline, Pepsi, Geico, Lowe’s, or Napa Auto Parts.
10. A large number of motorists will get in their cars, pull up to red lights and right in plain view of fellow motorists they will pick their noses.