The loss of a parent is tragic and life altering at any age, but when you are faced, as a child, with a lifetime without your mother or father, it’s even more of a devastation.  Children need a setting in which they are given permission to grieve -where bringing up the memories doesn’t make someone else linked to their loss sad and tearful, adding to their own burden.  Children who are able to attend Comfort Zone Camp learn valuable coping skills to help them deal with their grief.  “Children with unaddressed grief are five times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to drop out of school, ten times more likely to use drugs and twenty times more likely to have behavioral disorders,” commented Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Osgood.  The need for Comfort Zone Camp is real.

With camps now being held in five states, the home office here in Richmond has grown tremendously since its founding days, as has the realization that children need a special kind of support and environment in which to grieve.  CZC has now held 115 camps and served over 6500 children since its founding in 1998.

“No child really wants to come to camp at first.   By the end of the weekend, no camper wants to leave,” commented Osgood.  “Campers discover, often for the first time, that they are not alone, and this bonds them to each other very quickly.”

Comfort Zone camps typically occur over the span of a weekend and rely heavily on their army of passionate volunteers.  A dedicated camp team carefully matches a Big Buddy to each camper – the adult that will be with the camper every step of the way through the course of the weekend.  Big Buddies are all volunteers, some of whom have suffered the loss of a parent or sibling and some who have not.  Compassion and a willingness to make a difference in a child’s life are the only criteria needed to join their team of volunteers, followed up with a six hour training to prepare them for the camp experience.

Big Buddy volunteer, David Gohrband, is no stranger to loss, having experienced at age 22 the death of his father by suicide.  As a teacher for over ten years, David has a passion for working with kids.  “One of the guidance counselors at school sent me the information on Comfort Zone, and I was interested immediately.  I will do anything I can  to help a child dealing with grief to have a little more hope, fun or to develop some coping skills,” stated Gohrband.  It’s safe to say that in the past eight years and close to 50 camps that David has been a part of, he has touched many lives.  “The Big Buddies get so much out of the experiences, too,” he added.

Camp begins late afternoon on Friday evening when each camper meets his or her Big Buddy.  Next comes participating in ice breaker games to build trust and break down some barriers, a social dinner, Big Buddy sharing and the first of four Healing Circles, led by professional counselors.  During Big Buddy sharing, a volunteer shares his or her story, illustrating that the kids are now in a place where they are free to share and where they will be understood.  Big Buddies also attend the Healing Circles with them in small groups of ten campers.

Saturdays begin with a group breakfast, followed by a challenge course with their Big Buddies and Healing Circle, encouraging them to work together and become a cohesive group where each member is supported.  They meet again in Healing Circle to discuss feelings and share stories.  Each camper is encouraged, but never forced, to contribute to each session.  For the remainder of their Saturday campers share some free time, make a memento with their Big Buddy (a reminder of camp to take home with them), participate in art projects and dine together again.  The evening ends with the bonfire where campers roast the traditional marshmallows, make s’mores, sing songs and socialize. The mood shifts as campers are given the opportunity to write a letter to their loved one and recognize the loss as they stand with their Healing Circles by the bonfire.  “These are solemn moments that remind everyone why they are there,” commented Osgood.

Sunday brings one more Healing Circle and a memorial service for the campers’ loved ones.  “Parents/guardians return for this service which focuses on the children, all of whom participate with their Healing Circles and then individually as desired.  Some children sing or play songs. One boy dribbled a basketball in memory of his father, who had taught him to play.  It’s a special experience and is the culmination of everything learned over the course of the weekend,” she said.  “It’s amazing to see the love and support in the room.”

When asked to share what his favorite part of camp is, David commented “It’s the hidden times that are not on the schedule.  The times when we are walking to an activity or just a group of guys hanging out and being silly that can turn to serious conversations.  I’ve learned to look for the little moments.  These are the moments that can often help the kids the most.”

Through his numerous camps, David has watched many children grow and change.   “One young lady stands out to me the most,” he shared.  “She was dressed in black from head to toe with black fingernail polish and was completely closed off when she arrived.  After I finished my story about my father’s death, she asked a question, which was a big step.  When the group ended she came up to me tearful and shared that her father had abused her in many ways and then committed suicide.  We had a long talk, and the next time that she came to camp she was dressed in rainbow colors.  She came there suicidal herself, and Comfort Zone Camp changed her.”

How You Can Help...
CZC makes a world of difference in the lives of children nationwide and is funded solely by individual donations, corporate sponsorships, special events and grants.  The 12th Annual Grief Relief Gala will be held at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts on March 26, 2011.  CZC’s largest fundraiser of the year will feature both silent and live auctions and opportunities to give directly to the cause.  Not able to attend?  Between now and April 30th, RichmondNavigator.com is holding an online fundraiser with chances to win gift certificates to Richmond restaurants and retail locations.  There is no minimum donation to qualify to win, but you must donate “In Honor of RichmondNavigator.com” to be entered into the drawings.  For $500 we can send a child to camp and change his or her life forever.   Help us send numerous kids to this safe haven and support Comfort Zone Camp’s mission, to “provide grieving children with a voice, a place and a community in which to heal, grow and lead more fulfilling lives.”

For more information on this fundraiser, visit our Fundraiser Page.